posting at 0430

why am i posting at this really insane time of the day, i dont have any answers for you.

it has been a really long time since i've blogged using longer sentences instead of singular or short phrases as means to remind myself of things that have happened in my life and things that i should remember in my heart and mind. somehow, i feel that what i'm about to write does not come close to what i really want to say, because no matter how much i write about things, somehow, the point isn't quite there to me.

有些时候，以华文来表达自己的心声会比较容易一些些，但有时也无法把心声完全地表达出来，还有很多事情就是无法以文笔来说出来。很多事情过了，也算了。有些事情你是会遗憾终身，但也有些事情会让你一想起它就会无法停止嘴角往上移动。虽然应该做的，我们都知道应该做些什么，但是往往也就是无法完成，造成遗憾。

doesn't make much sense there doesn't it? talking with myself there and not quite making a point. there have been many losses in life, and many more to come, yet at the same time, you gain something and you will continue to gain throughout your life. treasure what you have in front of you, even though you know you will lose it one day. Perhaps really soon, perhaps in the far away future, treasure it when you have it and give it all the love that you can.

i've lost people whom made a difference in my life, the few people whom i have around me, yet i've gain a few more in return. i am not what you think i am, i am quite the opposite i believe. i look at myself in the mirror and i wonder, who is this person looking back at me. i listen to the wind blowing and i ask the wind, what might it be that you wish to tell me? i remember, i forgive, i forget, i let go, i hold on selfishly.

so, what am i and what am i to do? all i can do is to offer what i can in return in hopes of acceptance. i am not good at all with words, except that my heart yearns to comfort those around me. i hope to play a song of hope to reach out and touch your heart and soul. i wish to let you hear the song of the winds gently blowing past your ears, whispering softly to you.

remember, love and cherish. what you have now and what you have lost. they are all within your memories and your heart, they will never disappear unless you wish them to be so.